Let me be honest for a moment. I'm in love with Cardiff. and honestly, for myself, Cardiff far fits my sensibilities than America does. I honestly believe we do most things astonishingly well here in Wales. However, there's one thing, in almost seven months of living here that I've felt hasn't been as good as my birthright, hamburgers. While there are good variations that exist here, there's always something missing, some sort of sex appeal that is lost with cooks who have taken up that challenge here in the capital city.
So quietly I've been waiting. I knew Five Guys was coming to Cardiff, but I wondered if it would be the same. Would they have a version of the U.S. app that allowed ordering multiple toppings for free? Would the beef taste the same, considering U.S. corn based beef is banned in the U.K. (that's honestly not a bad thing). Would the portions be obnoxiously huge? Would they use American mustard? Would they even have mustard at all (a real pet peeve of mine). The answer to all these questions is yes.
Indeed, there's very little reason for an American to ever leave Cardiff now. I'm not sure how they did it, but it's an exact reproduction of the famed burger that America loves. The bag is soaked with grease, it's topped sky high, and it's so indulgently delicious that I can finally say that Cardiff now has arrived to burger utopia. It almost brings me to tears, no wait, that's the onions- and no, I'm never leaving Cardiff, ever, ever again.
|Why do we cry, when it's the onions getting hurt?|
Is it sexy? Oh Hell yes. You'll feel dirty and shameful afterwards, but isn't that the point? We spend all our lives counting calories, jogging around parks, and trying to fit into that dress on Friday. We don't smoke, we've cut back on caffeine, but when do we actually get to live? Every now and then it's nice to return to our animal instincts, drag a bag of Five Guys home, and sit in front of Walking Dead, grunting and drooling as we shove grilled animal into our face.
Civilizations of old used to sacrifice animals to their Gods. Unless you're a vegetarian, we too require an animal to die each day in order for us to live. If you're going to eat animals, make the sacrifice matter, go primal, go to Five Guys Cardiff. You'll only regret it for a few hours.