Meant for something greater

Rose was meant for something greater.

How do you measure the value of your life? By what you can buy, or what you can do?

Like the sound water makes just before it boils, Rose always felt some sort of internal calling which was indescribable. She couldn't tell anyone for fear of ridicule, but she knew, something inside her was telling her that this life she was in wasn't all that there would be in her story. No Rose knew, what only a few select people knew, that she was meant for something greater.

Of course Rose didn't know when or how destiny might call. She didn't know if it was God calling, or if she was completely honest in her times of despair, that she might be delusional. All she knew is she was certain that her life would have some purpose, beyond the mundane, some greater meaning than she could see for herself at this moment. In fact it was entirely possible she concluded, the mere concept that she felt this way would lead her to self-fulfilment of her own destiny. She might change the world, if she could find her way out of this life.

It's deliciously malicious.

As she stared out into the aisles of shoppers, like rats in a maze, Rose was certain as she swiped the umpteenth package of bologna through the bar-code reader at the checkout of her job, there must be an escape. As the fat women on the other side of the conveyor belt drooled at the lunch meat, her three children, all tethered  by way of bungee cord, and leashed to the bumper of her handicap scooter chirped like little birds for a candy bar. Rose tried to be a good person, but bad thoughts occasionally crept into her mind. She already had begun daydreaming of a scenario in which the three little piglet children, upon realizing the Girl Scouts' had arrived at the front of the store with a wagon of baked goods, simultaneously yank their obese mother and her scooter, like a wild pack of dogs, stopping only once they've obtained their chocolate covered mint cookies. Yet the mother and her conveyance, both screaming, and overwhelmed by the laws of momentum continued their path into oncoming traffic and their untimely death. Rose cringed.

"Snap out of it!", Rose demanded of herself, as she read back the woman's total though it shined glaringly at the woman's face. Her internal voice now screaming  "for God sakes, please don't write a check", as the fat woman broke out her checkbook, a custom engraved leather covered checkbook with a cross on the cover, and a Bible passage imprinted on the check. After an eternity of writing, as if to steal time from Rose's youth, she handed Rose the check and with a wink and a smirk said "now don't spend it all in one place honey!" Rose inserted it into the register and closed her eyes as she braced for what came next while handing the woman the receipt; it's what always comes next: "Have a blessed day!" said the woman as the electronic motor of her rolling seat strained to drive God's creature out of sight. Rose knew this woman wasn't here to help her; idols and idioms only curtain the dream.

In fact no one in her life was. It appeared as though everyone she knew was here to prevent her, to stop her from leaving. From finding out the truth, of becoming who she needed to be, of fulfilling her destiny, the secret she kept inside, of being meant for something greater.

That's when she came through Rose's queue and caught her off guard. "I used to dream of killing my customers too" said Alex as she introduced herself to Rose's face of shock and surprise. "How did you...?"- Rose was baffled; "know? The look on your face. Hell, I practically wanted to shove the lady's patronizing face in a deep fryer and I don't even work here," she confessed. "I used to be just like you, dreaming of grabbing my boss by the hair, dragging her over to the meat slicer, and turning it on. Sometimes I wondered if I was in a television show, and at any moment someone would pop out and tell me this reality was a joke on me. Surely if this is all real, if people were this blatantly consumed for normality, then I might be meant for something greater?" Rose was now bewildered. She had felt alone all her life, misunderstood, an outsider, but here before her was Alex, and this must mean something. Alex handed Rose a book, its front cover white, its back cover black. Then she leaned over the conveyor belt and whispered in Rose's ear: "The answer lies in the infinite possibilities between the finite world."

Deep fried human flesh. It's a slow painful death.

"Save it for someone who cares Tinkerbell", screamed the now impatient customer who arrived at register eight with a box of Twinkies and grew indignant at the epiphany. As Rose turned away, she realized Alex was gone. "Can you help me carry my groceries to my Hummer too", smirked the customer as she refused to pick up the single bag with its golden bars of gooey gluttony pie in it. "Oh and double bag it too!"

By the end of Rose's shift she had read the tiny book in between each customer. She grabbed a loose receipt and wrote out a set of numbers, one through ten. "Ha!" she screamed as the pencil pointed between the three and the four. Finally she knew what she must do. Rose ripped off her apron, pulled out her phone, crushed it with her foot and then she walked out of her job forever. She went to the bank, and took out all the cash she had, drove to the airport and bought a one-way ticket. On the dust covered dashboard of her car, she left a ring and a note written in lipstick that read "Goodbye, I'll miss you." She knew as she made each decision, in some other universe there was a version of her making excuses not to, remaining at the register, too scared of the consequences to really live. "I will not be that Rose!", she declared as she left the book opened with a single phrase circled:

 Invisibility is the cornerstone of secrets but 

your choices in this world are the chemistry of reality.

As she made her way to the gate at the airport, she knew there was no going back. She knew the only way out of this world she didn't fit into, was to give it all up. That meant everything, no matter how much it hurt. To risk it all for something better. This place with which Rose had lived in her whole life was a manufactured, and a packaged reality like the food upon the shelves of a grocery store, designed to keep her from escaping. She chuckled as she realized all the things that held her back. Her car, her cell phone, her job, and most importantly her.

The things she owned, had ended up owning her.

 This was her letting go, and by that single act she had already achieved more than she had ever before, or that most people ever would. She had changed from a passive observer to an active participant in the evolution of humanity.

Great things are about to transpire.

As the sun began to set, Rose boarded international flight 314, and sat down down beside her with a grin. Rose already felt a part of something important, something greater, by asking the question. It always starts with a question, she knew that now. She turned to Alex, put her hand in hers and they both smiled knowing everything had led up to this moment. In silence the two former cashiers placed their feet on the bulkhead, and their faith in themselves as the plane left for the unknown.

And so her story began, Rose, who was meant for something greater only if she was willing to risk herself to the greatness of it all. Who now could decide for herself where she belonged in the vastness of it. To choose rather than be chosen. To save herself, for only she can walk the path- the journey to something greater.

Drugs, Sex and The Taming of the Shrew

In a yellow station wagon, its roof strapped with the makings of a home, and in the passenger's seat sat Kate. For it was clear when she left that little town, the windows rolled down as she took her last breath of those orchards that lined her father's street, that it was not by choice. Kate cried as she looked at her childhood home one last time as she drove out of sight. For it was by her father and her sister that she had even found herself here, tucked between a glove box and a head-rest, in this life of compromise for other's love.

Kate had met Oliver as he sought his future far from home at a soiree of drink and laughter, whereby a wager was made amongst three as to who could deflower young Kate first.

 The first of the three suitors to try was named Tobias, a weasel like fellow with crazy eyes, who courted Kate cloaked as a gentleman. A knightly visage hiding insidious Tobias, to which Kate played along to a point. For as Tobias pretended to be courtly, so did Kate, as she was just as wise to his game, and laughed she did all the same, as Tobias's hand began to wander and shame, she took his hand and placed it in on her forehead. Then as loudly as she could, she announced to to his embarrassment, "that's as close as you'll get me to bed."


The second man was named Bryn, a portly fellow was he, with his mislaid plan it soon was plain to see. He jumped on top of Lady Kate as she sat on the couch and began to touch her on her bosom mont. Most women would have thrown him to the floor, but Kate just closed her eyes and pretended to snore. Consumed with his efforts he spun like a dreidel as everyone looked on. By sheer vibration Bryn gyrated himself drunkenly into the corner of the room. Smirks and grins were upon every face, as Bryn passed out, pants down, from all his effort, he could not finish what he started.

This is when Oliver finally stepped in, and sat beside Kate the clever. He said nothing for the longest time. Then he attempted a casually snide, "Lovely Kate, beautiful Kate, I look upon your wrist, for we have visited the same watchmaker it appears." Kate ignored Oliver, and he then her. Finally after some time of sitting beside, he advised "I'm so sorry my love, as it appears I have bothered you. I'll leave you be, for your beauty should not be tainted by me." In silence he rose from the couch, and sat beside another women within clear-view. For it was Bianca, Kate's sister, a rose was she as she sat in the corner, her breath emitting rainbows of conversation. Unlike Kate, Bianca embraced the courtly colloquy as much as she did Oliver. It was clear for everyone to see that Kate's discomfort was growing in jealousy. As their lips near embraced, preparing for something more, Kate stood up and demanded "no more." "If you want my family, surely you want me me", she decreed; taking Oliver by the hand, dragging him down the hallway and behind closed doors for all to stare and see.

Nine months later with their baby strapped in their station wagon, she left home knowing her father's demands. She would have not chose Oliver by any stretch of the matter, but a proper daughter and mother had no choice in a world in which she must be better than the later.

And so life began, far a way from home. Oliver would kiss Kate on the cheek each morning as they rose. Then at night, once again, but she just rolled her eyes, often laughing. Oliver would tell her how he loved her so, and it was no lie, for he had become smitten by her, for this is the reason he agreed to her father's silly wager. Kate did not find Oliver handsome, nor did she crave him in bed, according to her own words she'd rather be dead. Oliver would cook three meals a day, in the French fashion, but she would always complain. Oliver would buy her the most thoughtful things, but it was never enough to keep Kate pleased. She would simply suggest that there was always something better.

Oliver spent years carving a life not for himself, but for his boy and his wife. Oliver would take Kate to Paris, hoping the city of love would soften her demeanor. Then to Belgium with its sweet delights, he had hoped she might find delight. Moscow, and Kenya, was unimpressive to her as she'd contest in the future, that he choose some place better. Yet no matter where they would check in, she would diminish the greatness of him, and as the concierge handed the keys, all she would say  is "This is my brother, double beds for our stay please."

Then one day, Kate visited her doctor, a routine test to check her health discovered something strange. The Doctor then advised Kate's disposition may be hormonally tied. A bottle of pills, orange and black, and instructions to take one to see what she thought; if she so liked, the other would permanently cure. The instructions were clear, keep away from children the physician confirmed, keep these away from your son or the opposite will occur. In smite of fate, and believing nothing was wrong, she swallowed the orange one and waited to see what she couldn't believe. Within minutes it was clear the old Kate was gone, asleep at least, as she felt so in love with life, and couldn't grasp how lucky she was to have such a beautiful husband. She ran home to her Oliver where she returned the favor of their first time, for five hours, they made love that night. In the morning the spell had worn off and she was bitter for what she had done, mad at herself as she had been tamed not by a man, but by a mere pill.

The question now became what to do,for clearly there were not one Kate but two.

 If she took the black pill, she would be forever happy and in love, but with consumption the real Kate would cease and die. Who was the real Kate? Was it the shrew she had known herself to be her whole life, a miserable wretch who loathed life and men, or was it a sickness that could be cured she pondered? Tonight she would murder one, herself a suicider, but she knew not which, for she would decide upon Oliver's arrival.

As Oliver walked in she sat him down, and told him the story of the pill, and asked her husband what should she do? "To thy own self be true" he said, "Sweetheart, I love you as you are, you are beautiful no matter what you do. I shall wait every day in this life for your love, obedient to you, I do not need any more than you being Shrewd." Kate responded, "Oliver it is only by child I am bound to you, for you are a good father, but unlike the Kate of last night, I have gambled away your life, I have played a courtly role for my own benefit, and I lowered my pants in the corner humiliating myself out of jealousy to keep you from Bianca."

Kate stared at the black pill sitting in the open palm of her hand. She began to move the pill towards her mouth, hesitating as she pinched it between two fingers. Just as it appeared that she was about to release the pill, Oliver snatched the pill from her hand and swallowed it whole. As he fell out of love, knowing what he had done, having given her the final piece of him to give, Kate, for the first time in her life felt love towards him.