|How to say goodbye?|
As positive and wonderful of an experience this is to go abroad, each day comes crawling to me closer to closer. It's like knowing you're going to die, a sense of impending doom, and knowing with each passing minute you've lost something of value not being with the person, not sharing your love 100%.
This week we did a lot. We went swimming in a lake, took a couple of road trips. Went out to dinner and had more cuddles and private time than we had in a long time. In essence, this trip has already made us love one another more than we did. There's an appreciation of what we have, and what we will have to live without after saying goodbye on the 19th.
I had high hopes that my typical tearful hysterics were generally from a lack of sleep on our travels, and that I'd manage our farewells stoically without remorse when it comes time. Yesterday, however, we drove out to Raleigh-Durham Airport where I'll be leaving from, to pick up some Euro coins for the trip at the Money Exchange. There, waiting at arrivals was a family with a sign that said "Welcome Back" on one side, and "We Love You" on the other. As their family member arrived to the final hallway of security, and upon reading the sign, the individual's face lit up, and so began a total disregard for TSA security measures as everyone began running for each other with open arms and tears. I of course, lost it. It was in this instance I knew that my goodbye, no matter how well planned would be a horrible mess of emotions. I quite likely won't stop crying the entire flight, I know that now.
Airports are such wonderfully weird places. It's like a bottle of emotions, a stage of reality drama. It's where we say goodbye to love ones, or perhaps in that moment discover exactly how much we really do love someone when we're forced to say goodbye to them. It's a purgatory between two worlds, where the hearts of the traveler serve as payment due to a trial by fire with your love's worth at stake. Douglas Horton is noted for saying "If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn't comeback, you never had it."
I of course hope, despite having no idea how I'll manage to say goodbye, that our two worlds (Shannon's and mine) collide upon my return when I come running down that security hallways. It's only then will we both know the truth in Horton's final line, "if it comes back to you, love it forever."